Apr 20, 2019: Weed

Traditionally, Easter is a time of cold weather and – more often that not – snow.

And yet this year, bloody global warming has come along and made it chocolate-meltingly hot. What the bloody hell is all that about? What is the point of us getting voice activated heating systems if it’s going to be too warm to use them? I’m already working out how many plugs we need for all the fans just so I can justify have the home robot lady living in our rooms.

And, amazingly, I’d forgotten how warm it gets at work.

I must have blocked it from my mind after last year but it all came flooding back today. It gets very warm. And we always get two flies and a bee come in if we have the window open.

And if we open the window that’s directly above the entrance to Corals we all get high from the huge amount of weed that is apparently smoked in the doorway.

I mean, holy Christ on a bike, today the air was thick with it. How some people who smoke weed in public think they’re getting away with it, that no-one realises what they’re doing, is beyond me.

It was so strong for us that we had to choose car exhaust fumes via a different window as a preferable pollutant for the office.

So that, I think, is going to be the flavour of the office this year – weed or toxic carbons. And the two flies. And the bee that always goes between the two parts of the window and is a bugger to get out.