Apr 28, 2019: Space

We played our first mega-game yesterday and while it was enjoyable (well, I enjoyed it) there were some issues I had with it.

One of the issues was that we were teamed up with a randomer, the equiavalent of videogame matching making session, because we could only turn out a team of six and you needed seven to make a squad. Our randomer was alright, but had clearly played many of these mega-games before and was a massive know-it-all (henceforth known as RKIA), whereas we were n00bs, just wanting to play a game.

The other thing was, a lot of the game was disorganised chaos. Maybe it was supposed to be. But it just seemed a bit chaotic when all was said and done. And I got absolutely laid into by a member of the Russian team because I told them something that I had got wrong, and they already knew about so I looked like I was lying (in a game where lying is encouraged). Oh and when I say laid into, I was basically arseholed in front of everyone. Which was really nice. Welcome to round one (!) everybody!

The astronaut came home though. Miraculously. Considering most of the messages that were sent from the teams to her contained news about puppies and film deals rather than actual helpful shit like where to move to and how not to die. I’m not sure how much of a hand we played in that one. We discovered at the end that a lot of our communications weren’t even getting through so we were more-or-less scuppered from the get go.

But we tied for first place.

Which was nice.

We lost out because the astronaut chose to land at an EU landing pad rather than the NASA one we laid out. Russia didn’t even come close.

And speaking of Russia – the self-same team that told me off in front of everyone – I had a secret mission through the game where I was a Russian spy. I was to help Russia win by any means necessary. I was a crap spy. And, to be honest, I couldn’t feed them much disinformation from our team because RKIA was acting quite quickly, shouting at everyone to get information and spreading his own brand of confusion.

But I got outed as a spy, and was reported to the press. The press are in charge of the points. My outing as a spy meant that I earned a point which could either go to NASA – my team, or Russia – my Motherland. I chose Russia because, at that point, I didn’t know what was to come and I believed them to be further on in the points than they were. And if they won, I won. And you all know how rarely I win anything.

When it came to the final scores, Russia had 8 points. The EU had 10. NASA had 10.

As I mentioned, the EU won because in a tie the winner is chosen as the place the astronaut landed.


If I’d opted to give my team – NASA – the point…

Well, we’d have won, wouldn’t we? We’d have won by one measly point and to hell with where the astronaut landed.

The rest of my team realised that approximately a minute after the final scores were announced.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had six people cross at you – five of whom you know and one RKIA – but I have.

It’s not good.

Luckily they’ve almost not mentioned it at all today.