May 2, 2019: Chrixit

I’ll admit to being a little bit confused about things.

This Brexit thing, which – by the by – has been incredibly quiet as late, is confusing me. More than normal. And that’s a pretty high baseline of confusion right there.

I was under the impression that one of the main arguments/whinges about the EU was that the parliament is unelected by us and therefore we have no say in what is discussed there. Except, well, for one Nigel Farage was always there blathering on about some bollocks or other, as Nigel Farage is prone to do. In fact it’s his special skill. Blathering.

But then we now have voting cards for the EU elections. Which is something Theresa May was hoping to avoid by getting Brexit sorted but, because after the EU granted the extension everyone fucked off on holiday (what with it being such an important thing and all) so obviously none of the work has been done. So elections.

I can’t help wondering if the reason for wanting Brexit to take place before the elections was more to steer us away from the fact that we are actually voting for people to represent us in the EU parliamentary system. Which we’ve been told we don’t do because Brexit.

I don’t understand it.

I can’t even wrap my head around it.

Also, all the panic stockpiling of lorries parked on motorways because Brexit, and those people buying pasta like it was going to be outlawed in March for being an Italian food and all that. Where has all that gone? I don’t understand any of it.

It’s as if, right, Brexit has gone away. I know, I know that’s just a pipedream of – and come at me you fluorescent jacket wearing wallies – the majority (yeah, I said it) the country nowadays. But it does seem like it’s just gone away. It’s not what the country wants, we’ve been told. We can’t just abandon Brexit. The people have spoken, several years ago, and so we must do this.

But it’s just gone away, faded from a lot of the media. Slipped down the running order, moved back a few pages in the papers. It could just disappear up its own arsehole (Farage again) and no-one would even really notice. Except for a group of racist old people who would appear on Question Time and shout a lot. But they’d all die eventually. And the birds would come out again. And everything would be right with the world.

I mean, the news has gone from the country being destroyed by Brexit to whether or not Chris Packham should be sacked and/or killed for speaking out against hunts and something else he’s done that I’ve read but completely forgotten about.

Chris Packham could be the hero this country needs.