May 4, 2019: Overheard

So I was on the train, right, and there was a girl sitting opposite me, yeah. You know, those seats where you sit one way and the person opposite is facing the other way? Yeah, those seats.

So she’s looking at me, yeah, and smiling. And I’m like just sitting there. And she’s proper staring at me and just smiling. And then after a bit, yeah, of smiling and whatever, she hands me her phone and asks me to put my number in it.

And I’m like, “oh, I’m sorry, I’m taken” sorta thing. Like, “I’m sorry, but I’m spoken for.” Yeah. Awwwwkward. Awkward.

Well yeah, she was nice. Not my type, obviously. But she was pretty decent looking yeah.

Not as decent as you, though, obviously. I mean, she was nice but she had nothing on you.

But I just wanted you to know. I just wanted you to know I’m a hot piece of ass…

So anyway, I’ll need a lift to the train station in the morning...

I love an overheard phone conversation as much as the next person, but I spent my entire journey home trying to work out if what I heard actually happened or if he’d made the whole fricking thing up to butter up his other half before he asked for an early morning lift.