May 11, 2019: Warm

We’ve reached that point that comes in every British summer, when the media starts to report on places that will be a little bit colder than the UK. Next week, things are set to warm up over here (compared to now, I think, rather than frying an egg on the pavements kind of warming up) but we’re already rolling out the places we’ll be hotter than.

Yesterday the headline was we’d beat Corfu.

Today, Corfu Schmorfu… it’s Rio baby.

Which is much better because you instantly think hot when people say Rio. Or you think of the cartoon with the parrots in it. But also the heat as well.

So the UK will be hotter than Rio. And it’s this sort of stuff we’ll need to focus on in a post-Brexit dystopian future when no-one can leave the country because of cripplingly high Visa fees and everyone has to have a staycation.

“We could be in Rio, but we’d be colder than here!” families will say, trying to put a positive spin on the fact that they’re in an hour long queue at Blackpool Pleasure Beach.

Not that you’d know it looking at today’s weather though. Based on today, alone, you wouldn’t think Rio-smashing tempartures were on the cards at all.

We have had every weather today. Sun, rain, wind, hail, thunder… basically all the major meteorological symbols you’d find on an old BBC weather map circa 1970. And it was that sort of annoying day where you have to wear a coat but it’s also too warm to wear a coat.

I bet they don’t have this trouble in Rio…