May 28, 2019: Orange

Carole and I had a nice, refreshing glass of fresh orange juice last night.

Holy crap, that stuff is more potent than even the strongest caffeine.

So it turns out, if you drink fresh orange juice at night you can’t sleep for shit. Which leads to you lying in bed huffing and puffing about not being able to sleep. And being told to roll over because you’re snoring which, apparently, you do when you’re awake and off your tits on orange juice because I definitely wasn’t asleep.

We both slept like crap yesterday. We won’t get scurvy, that is true, but I’d rather have an old-fashioned disease and be well rested than this. I got up this morning and was tired, so I immediately had a massive glass of orange juice to see me through the day.

I might make an energy drink out of it.

Just orange juice. But call it something like “Hammerhead” or “Buzzin'” and sell it to teens. Because teens love an energy drink. They can’t move without holding a can of Monster in their hands, the teens. But I could give then an energy drink and secretly fill them with vitamins all at the same time.

And they’d never be able to sleep. But they probably can’t anyway because of the Monster or the Rockstar. That’s why all kids have anxiety nowadays. They’re constantly awake, never sleeping, so they never get to dream their issues into neat compartments that will be dissected by a counsellor at a later date.

This is the sort of stream of consciousness you have at something o’clock in the morning when you’re lying in bed, unable to sleep and considering getting up to make a start on getting back into to doing gaming livestreams because you have, at that moment, boundless energy and seemingly zero ability to lie still.

Supposed to be good for you, this fruit and shizz.