When I was younger, so much younger than today, I once spectacularly twisted my ankle by jumping (falling) down some steps and landing funny.
I spent half a day at school limping and eventually made it home to answer a barrage of questions from my parents about whether I could feel an inside pain or an outside pain. Something which, now I am older, I understand completely but as a child made no sense.
I went to hospital. I was X-rayed and I ended up off school for a bit with a bad sprain, and unable to do PE and games for ages (wooo). And then I went to physiotherapy for a bit, fell in love with the physiotherapist and was genuinely gutted when I was given the all clear.
So, today, I twisted it again.
I was just coming back from Sainsbury’s having been to get some tea and coffee to keep us sane. And just sort of, well, failed to walk properly.
And fuck me it hurt.
But it was an outside pain. So I have that going for me.
And now I’m at home with my leg up, in a tubi-grip bandage thingy, having iced it with some medicinal peas earlier on, and resting it. Which is where my expert skills as a stationary gamer to the fore.
The only problem with this, though, is the fact that I am currently home alone. So, for starters, Carole is worrying about my foot from a distance but I am having to get all my own shit. So resting my leg has to be done very strategically,. I have to get everything I may conceivably need for a prolonged period – drinks, remote controls, game controllers etc – and make sure I go for a squeezy wee before settling down with my leg in the air. Because I can’t call out pathetically for anything.
Well I can, but cats are notoriously rubbish at nursing people back to health.
Still, I’m being a brave little soldier. Quietly whimpering every now and again and taking ages to go up and down stairs.
My bravery knows no bounds.