Jun 24, 2019: Leak

It seems that the Sainsbury’s delivery drivers are masters of understatement.

We had a delivery this morning, breaking all traditional rules by having it on a Monday morning. I did this partly because I was disorganised over the weekend and partly because it made more sense to have shopping delivered for Carole returning home from her trip to France than to have stuff sitting around for a few days.

I was praised for the speed with which I unpacked the crates. The driver wished everyone could be as speedy as me. And then proceeded to hand me more stuff as I unpacked, so I clearly wasn’t going fast enough.

And then we got to the bottom of the crate.

The danger zone.

Eggs. They were fine. They had survived. They were in tact. All ship shape and Bristol fashion, whatever that means.

The yogurts on the other hand – they were going back anyway, to be fair. For whatever reason, the yogurts I want (or Carole wants) which are healthy ones with just enough chocolate sprinkled in them to keep the choco-pangs at bay aren’t available and we get the next best thing, which is chocolate free yogurts. So I was sending them back because they go down like a lead balloon with the chocovore.

“Oh, there’s a leak…” says the delivery man.

A leak.

There are children eating yogurts on You’ve Been Framed that are covered in less yogurt than the bottom of the crate. It looked like someone had just punted the yogurts into the crate from quite a way away. There was destruction on a wide scale.

Somehow, though, nothing on any of the groceries. Which leads me to the conclusion that this crate was the secondary crime scene and these yogurts were killed elsewhere and merely transported here for dumping.