Jul 7, 2019: Huh

I love having Alexa around the house. I love that she’s always listening and feeding back all our conversations to “the man” and using that information to control every single advert I see with my eyes.

And I love it when she completely fails to understand things.

I have lost count of the number of times asking her for a two hour timer (the usual amount of time I let my bread prove) has resulted in a ten hour timer being set.

And there’s that one time she just went “Bonjour” in the middle of the afternoon, for no discernible reason.

I like the fact that adverts on the Radio – playing through Alexa – for Alexa set off Alexa. I love that we’ve had to start referring to her, as I heard a Twitch streamer do, as the home computer robot lady.

I love it all.

And today, she took the cake and iced it.

Carole was out this morning, and text me that she was on her way home and asked if I would make her some lunch. Nothing fancy. Cheese and chutney sandwiches. Easy peasy. It was the last of the chutney, so I asked Alexa to add it to the shopping list for next week. Again, simples. There’s even a 90% chance she actually added “chutney” and not just something random as well. Which is a winner. She doesn’t cope well with courgettes, we know that. But chutney seems to be alright.

Carole came home, ate her lunch. I mentioned it was the last of the chutney. She went to add it to the shopping list via Alexa as well.

She said, “Alexa, add chutney to the shopping list” at exactly the same time as I said “I’ve already added it to the shopping list”.

Alexa processed the sounds we had made with our mouths and responded thusly.

“Play music by Bob Marley?”


This is why, for all the tin-foil hat conspiracy theories, I think there can’t be anyone listening to anything because… well, she’s batshit crazy.

And if we are being listened to, they’ll have stopped ages ago – definitely after the 50th time we asked for a knock knock joke…