Aug 17, 2019: Holt

There’s a cold open to an episode of Brooklyn 99 in which the squad try to guess what Captain Holt will do when he eats a marshmallow. While everyone else goes for typically Holt-like responses, devoid of any emotion, Boyle predicts he will make a series of excited and happy sounds. Hoots, if you will.

Here we are on the bus home from work. What started out as one two hour shift has morphed throughout the day into a 12-hour day. I’m on the last bus home. A well-meaning girl has told me the bus times are on a digital display, as I looked at a paper timetable on the wall of the shelter like some kind of luddite.

I was looking at tomorrow’s times, as it happened. But thanks well-meaning girl!

The bus arrives. There are only two people downstairs. I get on, sit down and almost immediately find out why there are so few people.

The two men on the bus are talking, loudly. And laughing.

Exactly like Captain Raymond Holt eating a marshmallow. Google it, because what’s funny in a couple of minutes of cold open is really grating on a twenty-minute bus journey.

And then I couldnt tell if only one of them was laughing like that and the other was laughing to take the piss.

And then I was just hoping they’d get off. But they didn’t. They just started looking people up online and hooting at them.

Longest twenty minutes of my life…