Sep 30, 2019: Clumsy

I’ve got her sussed.

At long last I’ve worked Carole out. I know how she does it. I’ve seen through the façade.

Carole plays board games like Columbo investigates murders. Successfully, for sure, but behind a mask of a bumbling incompetent who has no idea what they’re doing. She wants you to think she doesn’t understand, or has no idea what to do. She wants you to believe that she needs things explaining, or suggestions made as to the fact that she’s not using the cards to their true potential.

I am such a fool. I should have seen it before.

Tonight, she threw the contents of her Charter chest on the floor. She spent ages looking through a stack of cards to pick one that she wanted. All to wrong foot me. All to make me think she wasn’t entirely clued up and aware of everything she was doing.

Because shortly after these things, she destroyed my tens-of-points lead and headed off to another victory, despite claiming we were neck-and-neck for a long time.

She’s a crafty one.

So, yes, another game and another loss for me. Aside from the draw in game five or six, I haven’t even caught a whiff of the winner’s circle, remaining steadfastly in second which, when there’s only two of us playing, is definitely last.

I was sure I was onto a good thing today, until she pulled the Columbo bullshit and edged into the lead, managing to use the combined powers of about five different cards to get points with every single move she made.

There’s always next time.

I know that there’s every chance I could win. But equally, I know that there’s every chance – and then some – that I won’t. And, because of the nature of the game, even if I do there’ll be some condition of the game which will mean that in this instance winning means coming second.

The next game features a candle, for chuff’s sake. A candle which we have to light and then pay attention to which player’s turn it goes out on. I can’t imagine the consequences for the extinguishing of the king’s guiding flame are good. So it’s bound to be me. Even if I make no motion towards it, near it or in the same room as it, my go will see the candle extinguished and my dreams of victory in tatters.

I can’t bloody wait…