Oct 11, 2019: Exhaustion

It turns out, I learnt this morning, that I’m surprisingly good at video games at five in the morning after very little sleep.

The saga of the difficulties of sleeping with this cough go on and on and on. Just when you think it’s all sorted and you’re on the road to recovery you find yourself wide awake, lying in bed trying to keep your lungs on the inside whilst trying not to wake up your beloved and/or the neighbours. Although, truth be told, wake up the noisy bastards. I don’t care.

Anyway, I have managed to run this week on a ridiculously small amount of sleep. It’s taken a lot to get to sleep and then when I’ve been asleep I’ve had a dream about coughing – because I’m super fun – and then woken up coughing. There has not been a lot of sleep going on. I have seen most of the hours of the morning. I have heard the little milk float that pootles around for some reason (probably delivering milk). And I have heard the birds spring to life.

I have, until this morning, avoided the sleeping sitting up that I have been promising myself.

But it can’t go on any longer. I’m running on fumes. I need to sleep. So I came downstairs and attempted to sleep on the couch, sitting up. It did not go well, although I did get a little bit of sleep in it didn’t really stick, and I gave up on the whole idea at around quarter past five, favouring instead a bit of gaming on the Xbox and the hope that exhaustion would snatch me later – which it did for around an hour.

There’s hope for me yet.

But at 5am I am pretty shit hot. I should save particularly tricky sections of games and then get up early and blitz my way through them. My reactions were on point, my control was masterful. Five in the morning is clearly my go time. The end of staying up late. Instead, I’ll be one of those cool get up early gamers that you hear about all the time.

I don’t know, though, if it was the time of the morning or just the lack of sleep and my body just throwing adrenaline and whatever else in to me to just keep me ticking over in a competent state and hope for the best until I can snatch some shut eye.

Hopefully, tonight will be the night.

I’m destined to enjoy the upright stuff. I need to. I can’t lose an hour of my morning to hacking up a lung. But this time I’ve already felt my eyelids growing heavy. I’ve fought them off already tonight. Sleep, I think, will be upon me.

As will a stiff neck from sleeping upright.

But at least that will draw my attention from the lingering cough of death…