Nov 11, 2019: Dark

It’s been like an evening in the Dark Ages tonight as the broadband cut out for a couple of hours. The router just sitting in the corner taunting us with its orange light of non-connectivity.

And as you sit, cut off from cat videos and news of YouTubers fighting, you think, “Oh I could…” and then you realise you can’t. Because in some way it’s need an internet connection.

Even diagnosing the fault needs an internet connection. You have to go online to see if there’s a fault which is preventing you going online.

So I did. I logged in. I ran the first test. And it came back and said, it looks like your router isn’t connecting. I knew that. I worked that out myself. Primarily from the fact that the orange light on the BT hub means that it’s not connecting. But also from the fact that it wasn’t connecting. I had to run two further tests to be told there was a problem. And then the results of the problem showed that it was BT titting about with something and it should be back soon.

So, basically, wait and see. Which is what I was going to do. But the initial status update thing told me there were no issues.

And in the back of my head I was just thinking it was all like that time that I rang Sky because the remote wasn’t working and I’d be buggered if we were going to pay for a new one and they asked me if it had batteries in it (i.e. was the red light on when I pressed a button) and then asked me if I was holding it so the buttons were on top of the remote rather than underneath (!) and then if I was POINTING IT AT MYSELF.

But then, as I know from having to adapt health and safety briefings for escape rooms based on prior customer activity, people are fricking stupid. That is why these questions have to be asked. That Sky had to ask that means that at least once, but probably more times to make it onto the checklist of questions, someone has pointed a remote control at themselves.

So I guess BT have had the same issue with people ringing up to ask what’s wrong with their hub and being told it’s not connecting. Even though it’s the most obvious thing.

But these things end up in checklists for a reason. You only have to watch one or two episodes of Air Crash Investigators to know that most of the checklists pilots have to go through in planes have come from, essentially, pilots doing the flying equivalent of pointing the remote control at themselves, upside-down.

Still, at least the internet’s back now.

There’s nothing I really want to do on it, though. Now I have it…