Dec 3, 2019: Form

We’ve got a form to look at and fill in for my mum. It’s a form – huge, long and very formy – to do with Attendants’ allowance and whether mum could get any money which could be used to help us to help her with a variety of different things.

I was looking through it yesterday, filling out the easy bits – her name, where she lives, the fact that she lives in bungalow and so everything is downstairs. You know, the basics.

But we have the rest to fill in – the pages and pages (and pages) that assess her needs throughout the day.

I mean, at first glance I don’t think any of it applies particularly. And I’m worried that, if anything, we’re filling in the form and it’ll end up showing that she should actually have some sort of home help – something which she is vehemently opposed to.

It’s a very strange form.

Based on the questions it asks, I could probably have put forward quite a strong case for the allowance myself a few years ago.

There are questions about needing help with things – walking around, going to the toilet, getting dressed, getting up/going to bed and preparing food.

All the major daily activities.

Can you do them and do you need help? If so, how many times a day?

And then there are the questions again, but with the added element of motivation.

Do you need motivation to get up in the morning?

I mean, most people do at some point. But I could’ve ticked that box that says yes during my banking days for definitely. And how many times a week would I say I needed help? All of them apart from Wednesdays (when I get rudely awakened by the dustman… no, wait, that’s Parklife).

But yeah. I could have submitted that. And given my skill at falling over nothing but air and dreams, I could have put in for being unstable too.

I feel I might have missed a trick here.

There is a question which I love, tucked away in the form which asks what you do after you’ve fallen over.

I’m not sure mum has ever fallen over, post stroke at least. But knowing mother as we do, both myself and Carole would undoubtedly answer said question with “swear repeatedly, call everyone an arsehole and refuse any help for as long as possible because why shouldn’t she?”

Wish us luck…