Dec 24, 2019: Prepper

We’re less than twenty-four hours away from hearing the word “interesting…” sound like it’s describing the least interesting thing possible.

Yes, it’s Christmas Eve and there’s weird stuff under the tree.

I’ve even gone so far as to wrap the copy of TV Choice or whatever TV magazine it is mum asked me to pick up so she’ll know what’s on the box over the festive period. Equally, I could have wrapped a piece of card with the words “A load of old bollocks and all the Paddington movies” written on it. But I haven’t.

I have, as I do every year, gone a bit out there with Carole’s gifts. This year, though, “out there” is a code for “bought some strange things.” And there’s even some stuff that I hadn’t remembered and when I was wrapping them went “oh, I’d completely forgotten about that” about. So that bodes well, I feel.

I’m busily constructing a cooking times chart in my head, along with a list of everything that I need to do so that we can eat at a time I aim for and them miss wildly. This year, though, to hit the correct time I am going to aim for earlier. This year will then, of course, be the year that everything goes swimmingly and dinner is ready while Carole is out bothering her family rather than the allotted time we’ve sort of planned for.

And I’m turning off my phone for the rest of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

I don’t need it, particularly. I’ve set all the social media for work, I’m with the person I’d text if I wasn’t with that person. And my mum’s here, so I don’t have to check in with her to make sure she’s still alive. It’s all good. I’ll maybe have a looksee on Boxing Day evening just to see if I need to head to work on Friday, but otherwise I think a few phone free days would be quite delightful.

I suppose I should have it on while Carole’s out so that I know when she’s coming back – but maybe I should make her phone the landline in a proper old-school fashion.

Except we probably wouldn’t answer it because who’d be phoning us on Christmas Day, especially because Carole’s gone out to see the family and my mum will just ring my sister and not understand anything she says in a strong Glaswegian accent.

Still, maybe the rest of Christmas Eve, some of Christmas Day and most of Boxing Day. That’s still a decent effort. Unless we need it for an app for a game we happen to play.

Or I need it for timers for the cooking.

Or…