Jan 18, 2020: Sleeper

There is nothing I love more than people who fall asleep on buses.

I used to do it myself, on the way to and from Leeds. The gentle swaying motion, the heating, the fact that you’re exhausted. It’s frighteningly easy to entirely nod off and then jolt awake in a way which then finds you trying to pretend you were never asleep in the first place. Even though you’ve dropped everything you were holding and have dribbled everywhere.

When I used to do it, though, I used to nod off on buses where it was so close to the end of the route when I needed to get off – and you’d always be woken up at the bus station – that it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d slept through. I never did, though,

It’s a high risk move, though, to fall asleep on a bus route that’s essentially a big circle. Like my current bus route is, for example.

A man fell asleep on the bus tonight. He was sitting near the front, comfy in his big coat with his hood up, clutching his bus ticket. He should have had a sign like Granny Weatherwax used to have in the Discworld novels declaring himself not dead, but also asking to be woken up at his stop.

He made it all the way to my stop which is, basically, the far end of the loop. Everything from there is just going back towards town.

When I got off and was waiting to cross the road, he was groggily talking to the driver and no doubt negotiating a ride back to where he should have actually got off.

I can understand his frustrations, though. I have missed my stop home on several occasions because I’ve been reading something in a book or on my phone. It’s annoying as hell, and I only ever had to walk down the main road a little bit.

I feel his pain. I really do.

But it also amused me greatly.

I am a bad person, what can I say?