Yesterday, Carole asked me to put a plant outside. A plant from the house, pretty much signing its death warrant by taking it outside into the wide open air to subject it to frost and slugs and who knows what else.
It was one of a few jobs I was given today, each of which has thrown up problems.
The plant was a problem – Carole described it as a “bit fly-y”. That’s why I was taking it ouside. “Can you take it outside,” she said. “It’s a bit fly-y.” I hadn’t really noticed up to press, but then this morning as I lay in bed several flies alighted on my phone. Then I went into the bathroom and the tiles had a lot of flies on them – I saw a spider in there and left it to its devices, it will eat well this night – and then I moved the plant and it was like taking Pigpen from the Peanuts comics outside.
A bit fly-y.
Not to mention the plant is basically dead anyway.
So I didn’t feel too bad about it at all.
Then I had to fill a bird feeder – designed for niger seeds – with niger seeds.
Designed for niger seeds,my arse. Designed to, as you fill it up, decant the seeds out of the holes at a rate just slightly less than the rate they are entering the tube, so it does fill up but it takes a hell of a long time to do so. And you end up with a worktop covered in seeds. I daren’t open the kitchen window lest all the tits and finches for miles around pile in and start pecking at the surfaces.
And then I was tasked with vacuum-sealing away the Christmas duvets and wotnot, so we can store them for next year. For one, the bags Carole has bought are massive. Massively massive. Drawrfing the amount of Christmas duvet covers we have by some degree. Then they refused to allow the air to be sucked out because the rubber seal didn’t work how I thought it would, so I had to pull it out completely. Then it didn’t go back in until enough air to negate the point of vacuuming the air out got back in before I could get the seal on.
It’s been a long day…