Feb 13, 2020: Tracker

I saw an advert, just once – unusually, on YouTube for a small, discreet tracker you could hide in your car. That way you’d know exactly where your car was at any time – the advert showed an incredibly accurate map you could track your vehicle on – and thieves would be all like, “What? How you find me?”

There were a couple of things which stood out. For starters, this small tracker was pretty large. Not huge, but definitely not small and discreet.

It was also bright yellow. They showed a bright white one as well. But they primarily used the yellow.

I’m not a car guy. I know nothing about cars, at all. I know which is the front, which is the back and which bit is the circle turny handle, I think that’s what it’s called. Next to the flashy light stick. Near the brrrm noise changer handle.

So I know nothing about cars. But i do know very few of them have yellow or bright white interiors. You’re already on the back foot with the ability to hide it. But hey, show me more.

In the video they hid the tracker in several places. Brace yourselves, because you wouldn’t think of any of these.

The pocket on the back of the front seats. The pocket which, in the demo car, is a net. Now it’s a net with a big yellow tracker in it.

The glove compartment. Not hidden under all the shit in there, or at the back or up against the side. Just on top of the manual and all the other crap. It was an American ad so all that stuff probably hides a pistol, don’t wanna show that off.

Just under the corner of the mat in the passenger footwell.

Come on guys, impress me with how this increases security. Stitch it in a lining or something. Don’t just tuck it under a carpet and hope for the best.

But then, you need to do something like that lest the bright yellow or white reflect light into your eyes and you crashed…

… although everyone would be able to track – suspiciously accurately – exactly where that was.