Feb 26, 2020: Bank

When I got my new phone, and lined up some swirling patterns on the screen of the old one with the camera of the new one, it told me everything transferred across.

And it certainly appeared that way. I opened the web browser and tabs I’d had open on my old phone were there on my new. All the contacts were there although – I’ve since discovered – it didn’t know any of my email addresses were my email addresses. Which was both interesting and odd.

And the best one of all, my online banking went, “Hey, we need you to – you know – enter bits of your pin and password. If that’s not too much trouble. Anyway, ok thank you byeeee!”

And lo, the nightmare of being a customer rather than someone who can nip onto a webchat at work became flesh.

I don’t know any of my online banking details. Since it’s been on my phone for the last however long, I have used a passcode and that passcode is all I’ve needed. I’ve not logged onto it on a computer in forever because I am modern and move with the times.

What was even better, I thought, is when I did try and log on – maybe hoping I could remember a password or at least take an educated guess – I was presented with an option to add the tenth letter/digit of said code.

Very few of my passwords are that long – at least from the time when I set my online banking up. I had no idea what it could be.

So I asked to reset everything. I asked for an activation code to be text to me.

Approximately seven times.

That never came.

In the end, despite my mobile number being correct, I told it my mobile number was incorrect thinking it would ask me to do something else.

Nah, it booted me out and I had to wait for a posted activation code to arrive.

Which it did.

And then that didn’t work. And then I had to get a new one.

Which does work. But because I have “changed” my phone number from the one it knew was my number to the same number, I now I have to wait a further three days before I can use my mobile app for online banking.

Holy shit sticks. We don’t make these things easy, do we. This, combined with the new security initiative for contactless cards – i.e. use them contactless by all means, but every now and again and with alarming frequency, we’ll make you have to enter the pin for security. Even though months ago contactless was the best thing ever, yeah sorry about that…” and I’m glad I’ve escaped the whole banking rat race thing.

Apart from the ability to just hop on to a different system and sort things out really easily… that I miss!