Mar 13, 2020: Loners


Covid-19 is doing my head in.

Not because it exists, or because I have been forced to self isolate or anything like that. None of that.

It’s drving me up the wall because of people’s ridiculous levels of panic buying – you’re being asked, if you need to, to self isolate for a week. A week. That’s the same length of time as a weekly shop normally lasts, guys. A week. How much pasta are you going to eat in that time? The latest thing are sanitary items – gotta get those in bulk, for some reason. Covid-19 does not, as far as I am aware, alter the length or frequency of your menstrual cycle. You only need the usual amount.

But even that is nothing compared to the sudden influx of experts that this disease has brought out of the woodwork. Suddenly everyone you know is medically qualified or an expert in infectious diseases and they’re all happiky sharing their knowledge on social media, and then resharing other people’s knowledge and, basically, creating a culture of ignorance which leads to panic buying stuff left, right and centre.

And don’t even get me started on the number of people who are offering advice for people who might have to self-isolate. This is like when nerd culture became trendy and everything I’d liked for most of my life, but been derided for, became trendy and everyone got into it. For years I’ve enjoyed not leaving the house during the day, and now everyone wants a piece of that sweet, sweet action.

But they’re having to be told to give themselves things to do. The number of people that I’ve seen saying, “Remember if you’re self-isolating, you’ll need books, games and movies to keep you occupied” is ridiculous. And that they can stay in touch with people via text and social media.

They’re only staying in for a bit with a cough. Not on a mission to Mars.