Apr 1, 2020: Twelve

Some years ago – must be around seven, I guess – we made the relationship-threatening decision to decorate our hall/stairs area. This was a nightmare for a number of reasons, not least the fact that the ceiling in some points is ridiculously high and, because some of the walls were plastered – I don’t want to use the word badly, but – badly (with strange, unnecessary outward curves and things) we wallpapered it.


Never do that.

It was awful.

But we did it. And we are still together now.

Now, in a time of global lockdown. Where we find ourselves with time on our hands. Although no, we don’t. Because apart from the commute to work, Carole has no extra time and it’s really pissing her off seeing people online complaining about being bored or whatever. Anyway, we have weekends together which is something we haven’t had for ages. And Caz has adjusted her working hours to be ridiculously early in the morning to mid-afternoon so we can have some quality time for me to complain about my government sanctioned walk which I did very well without beforehand thank you very much.

Anyway, shortly after we papered the hallway, we got Peppa. And then as a kitten Peppa climbed the wallpaper. The newly put up, fucking ballache of a job wallpaper.

And so we have lived for however long with one tatty piece of wallpaper, right at the bottom of the stairs on the corner which had Peppa’s claw marks all the way up it – she climbed it well – and a chunk missing where she worked her magic.

We took that off yesterday. Just that one piece. Any other scrapes to the paper which have been done by getting a clumsy gentleman to carry a wash basket, for example, are staying. Screw that shit. But that one bad bit. That’s gone. Stripped. Removed. It revealed an interesting hole next to the light switch which is now, hopefully, filled enough so that if we lean on that wall we won’t disappear into the space under the stairs.

So, yeah, we’re decorating.

Suddenly the lunchtime walks don’t seem so bad. Except it’s been really cold this week so I haven’t been on any of them. Instead I’ve been filling a hole in a wall with filler and questioning my life choices.

We’re going to paint it all, once we’ve re-papered this one section.

Which seemed easy(-ish – see above regarding stupidly high ceiling) until we factored in the wooden boards on the walls which hold the banisters… now we have to sand those arseholes first. And take the banisters off. And then not fall down the stairs because there’s nothing to hold onto.

It’s a lot to deal with.