Apr 6, 2020: Seventeen

I like to think I was channelling a little bit of my mum’s teachings today.

I made a macaroni cheese which has almost none of the correct ingredients. Mother was, when she used to bake religiously on a Friday, notorious for making things and getting part way through before she realised she didn’t have what she needed but just soldiering on anyway.

We’ve had butternut fingers without any nuts whatsover.

Cake that started out as one thing and ended as another.

There were a lot of things that we had as children which were nice but could never be fully recreated because they were MacGuyvered together before MacGuyvering things even became a thing you could do.

And so that was me, macaroni cheese without any of the usual flavourings and oomph-providers.

Oh, it normally has the bite of mustard does it? Nope. Not this time. This time it will just gum you to death with the cheese-pasta goodness. There’s normally a hint of something – is it bay? I guess. This time there are no bay leaves. But, and let’s keep this between us, apart from providing entertainment as we try to remember how many leaves have been added to a chilli, stew or whatever, I’m not sure bay leaves do anything. At all. I know. Controversial as that may be, but I think we’re just basically sticking leaves in food, then taking them out because someone did that in times of yore and so everyone has just done it that way since.

There’s normally a wave of spring onion throughout my macaroni as well. But this time, alas, there was not. There was supposed to be, but the spring onions we got were – well, they were shit. There was very little spring to them whatsoever. And we can pretend things are just there to add the subtle hint of flavour, but I prefer my spring onion to have a circumference larger than that of the business end of a cotton bud.

It turned out alright though. If Carole wasn’t here, I’d have happily just sat with the entire dish of it and gorged my way through the day’s lockdown fun.

But she is here. And she frowns on that sort of thing, Covid 19 or not.