Jun 16, 2020: Eighty-Eight

What I like about the iPhone weather app is the complete accuracy with which it provides every single element of its forecast.

Ha, of course not, that’s just the lockdown madness talking.

Today was spent waiting for a thunderstorm which was promised to last for five hours, and looked like it would be an absolute shoe-in, followed by loads of rain. So much rain. I was out in the shed looking for cubits of wood to build a boat. That’s how much rain.

As the day went on, each hour disappeared, one by one. Until there was no storm left. Nothing. Not a sausage. No rain, no wind, no thunder, no lightning, no very, very frightening. Nothing.

And no storm came.

I had my kite with a key on it all set up, hooked up to some frogs legs with a wire in them. All the classic science stuff. I spent the morning building a person out of body parts, assured that it would most definitely come alive – ALIVE!! – in the midst of a five-hour clusterfuck of weather.

Nothing.

It just stayed warm. And muggy.

Warm and muggy is not the optimum storage condition for a new body made of old body bits.

I’ve learnt that the hard way.

Still, to make up for it, it’s given almost every day next week the thunder and lightning treatment.

I’m going to be rushed off my feet with all the reanimation….