Jul 9, 2020: One Hundred And Eleven

We have a night-time intruder.

We should have realised this a little sooner, I think, given that the bag of Peppa’s cat food had been royally trashed the other day and Carole did comment on how much Peppa seems to be eating at the moment.

But this morning Carole came downstairs to find that a bin bag we had hung on the cupboard had been ripped open, presumably in a quest to find tasty morsels within. Peppa has never done that. But then, she’s never gone ape shit and ripped her way into her food bag before, but we seemed happy to thing it was her.

So, based on the evidence, we think one of the neighbour’s cats is paying us a visit when it’s kicked out of the house at night.

I did, in fact, hear the cat flap go while I was downstairs last night, but didn’t really think anything of it – not even when I saw Peppa in her igloo upstairs a short-time afterwards. But that’s more due to the teleportation powers which most cats possess – Schrodinger’s cat wasn’t a thought experiment into the quantum nature of the universe. It was just about the fact that if you spend any time at all with a cat you become convinced they can teleport and be in different parts of the house at the same time. There’s a cat in this box and there isn’t a cat in this box is the day-to-day life of a cat owner, except the box can be replaced with any room in the house and your cat is always in it.

Anyway, now we have this interloper.

So tonight I’m staking the place out. I’m positioning myself such that I can see the cat flap and entertainment at the same time. I’m going to stay downstairs like a crazy person and hope to catch the culprit in its tracks and then scare the bejesus out of it so that it stops being a dick. That’s my plan.

Because the other plan is to lock the cat flap to one-way travel only.

And Peppa is a huge dick for going outside for two seconds then coming back, so screw that bullshit of having to get up and open the door all the time.

Nope, it’s time to scare away the interloper cat. And remember to move all the food away. And put any bin bags out no matter how empty they may be.

In some ways, locking the cat flap may be easier…