Jul 18, 2020: Huh?

I arranged the shop to come before I went to work today, as it was a guaranteed safe time. I wouldn’t be getting a game in the midst of it, Carole would be in – it was beautifully arranged.

We’ve been getting lucky, these past few weeks, with substitutions or items not in stock. The last however many weeks have been a sporadic shit show of no shows and terrible substitutes (although often a higher “quality” which is to say filtered, or organic). But the last few weeks everything has settled down. Large eggs have been the main issue. If there aren’t any, you get medium. If there are any, they smash a couple for you free of charge.

But otherwise, all good.

We even managed to get bread flour which means, as a suspected, all the fuckers who bought it up at the start of lockdown because otherwise how would they survive have ditched the baking shit now they’re back at work and pass a shop on the way home.

But anyway, I ordered beans to come today. Four tins, Heinz.

None in stock.

Still, beans are beans. There are loads of different types of tins of beans. Four tins of a different brand. Fine. Groovy. Easy peasy. Beans for beans. The best type of substitute.


Blueberry and Blackcurrant Jelly. Ready-made. One tub.

What the actual fuck?

It was so incredulous that our delivery driver took our receipt away and took a picture of it which was no doubt shared on some sort of delivery driver WhatsApp group immediately after he left our house.

I’m going to drop an email to customer services on Monday. Because something is clearly messed up there.

I also ordered some straws for Carole. We got paper cups.

Now, yes, same aisle. I will give you that. But straws are for getting liquid from a vessel to your mouth. We clearly already have the vessel. Otherwise I wouldn’t be asking for the straws…

But at least that sort of makes sense.

Kind of.

But jelly…


Instead of baked beans.