Jul 27, 2020: Steps

Part of the fun of our new location at work is the addition of approximately 15000 new stairs to get to the door. When we moved, we discussed this and decided that we would get a buzzer for the front door which we could then open from upstairs. We would wait for the team at the top of the stairs and all would be well.

So far, things are not going to plan.

The weekend we opened, the buzzer mysteriously stopped worked completely so we had to go and fetch people – luckily it’s still only very small numbers of games so it wasn’t too bad but it was definitely annoying. Especially with a duff knee caused, most probably, by those stairs in the first place when I was carrying stuff up and down them.

Then there are the teams who go to the old building and don’t follow the instructions on the sign to turn around and look across the road, so we have to go and get them.

And today, I had to go up and down the stairs – despite a functioning buzzer -because the hairdressers who share the stairwell with us (and normally leave the door open anyway) were keeping some ladders in there that they didn’t want to get stolen. They wanted us to make sure the door was firmly shut after teams came in and out, so no-one swiped the ladders.

I was imagining stepladders. Easily swipeable. Reach in, nab them, be off with you.


These were extendable ladders with each section being about ten feet in length (if not more). The kind of ladders you see groups of people tying to the top of work vans. Huge fuckers they were.

I would argue that this would not be an opportunist snatch and grab operation as you would with a set of stepladders.

Even if the door was open, and a would-be ladder thief fancied them, they’d need to be pretty dedicated or have a team of other ladder swipers on hand to make off with them. As it was I had to slide them out of the way a bit anyway, because they’d arranged them somewhat jauntily across the stairs. And that was a bit of an ask.

They were still there when I left.

I think I shut the door behind me…

(… I did. Don’t worry.)