Aug 4, 2020: Fat Cat

Excitedly, there’s a pregnant cat hanging round the garden.

There’s also an 8-foot tall metal sunflower windmill which Carole bought from HomeSense – a shop with a name which does not reflect the absolute horseshit that’s for sale inside. Or, indeed, displayed in our garden.

Anyway, pregnant cat.


And not running away. If anything, running towards.

Which is a tad worrying.

Peppa’s not happy about it, as you might imagine. There has been hissing and angry mouth noises, but the pregnant cat (and I’ll be honest, it looks like it’s stupidly young to be in the family way) has just chilled out and relaxed and made itself look very comfy.

Now, there are several things regarding this pregnant cat, and the welfare thereof. I’m assuming, as it’s pregnant and outside, that the owners of said cat are not that fussed. The fact, actually, that it’s pregnant, also points to that as most people do tend to have their cats sorted out, internally, to prevent such things. So there’s that.

Secondly, it might belong to the crazy mad cat woman up the road. And the last thing she should be allowed access to is kittens. So it’d be better off hanging around here.

And thirdly, for all that is good and holy it cannot give birth in next door’s garden because they will find the kittens and probably just kick the living crap out of them.

As it is, I have no idea where the cat is now. I went out about twenty minutes ago, and it’s poked off. No idea where, I had a decent scout about, but it’s definitely gone moved away for now. I have, though, assembled a decent little box in the shed that it could – if it so wished – birth away in to its heart’s content and which (if needs be) I can whisk inside and absolutely lie in the face of the mad cat woman if she comes asking if a cat has given birth about. And I would. Because that woman should not be allowed kittens.

But I think there is going to be a heightened awareness with regards to places a pregnant cat might set up shop, just incase. Because if she does decide to drop next door, they’re gonna have to be transplanted sharpish for their own safety.

And also we were talking about getting a new kitten not so long ago, so it’s quite exciting that a walking bag of them has somehow appeared in our lives.

And worrying. It’s also worrying.

I might just go out for another looksee…