Sep 19, 2020: This Sucks

Today was one of those days at work where a team cancels on you and you have two hours to kill that you previously didn’t have to fill.

And it was the first team of the day, so I was effectively in work super early.

Which was just as well, I reckon, as I decided to do some hoovering and cleaning up of the various rooms which lead to a lengthy bout of internet searching to find out how to use the bloody hoover in the first place.

We used to have a Dyson which didn’t particularly work. I’m sure, in fact, that Dyson still exists and is in the building somewhere, but I’m not sure where. In fact, I’m sure there are at least three hoovers in the building. But I could only find one.

One which I spent a good while swearing at.

It was not a Dyson. So not a model I was familiar with in the slightest, even though it bore a lot of similarities to the aforementioned Brexit-loving vacuum. I mean, it basically looked like it could have been a Dyson, or at worst a slightly ill relative.

And it clearly had the pipe attachement as the handle. And you’d think you’d just pop that out and you’d be sucking stuff up by the pipe. Simple pimple. And easy job.


You take the handle bit out of its holster and it’s just an unconnected tube.

With no indication of where it then connects to.

You then have to take more of the vacuum apart to attach to the pipe to make it into a functional pipe attachment.

And it’s all bits that you think, looking at the bloody thing, are bits you shouldn’t undo.

It’s probably the weirdest way of attaching things I’ve come across.

And I had to come across it via a YouTube review of a similar device because I couldn’t find anything else about it. I had to start watching, and then scrub through, the video of an angry asian man reviewing his own version of this brand of device in order to work out how to use it.

Vacuums shouldn’t be that complicated.

You should just be able to work them out, intuitively. And you certainly shouldn’t have to dismantle half the device just so you can reach into a corner, like it’s a bloody Transformer or something.

Still, it really took care of those couple of hours I had spare.