One of the downsides of the Covid, for me at least, is the amount of extra time I have to spend at work while not working. I mean, I generally get there early – by which I mean in plenty of time to deal with any of the numerous technical issues which have beset me in the past and now we are arguably more high tech will almost definitely beset me in the future, but Covid is increasing that.
Because I feel safer if I can avoid certain groups of people.
Those being the elderly and the school-worthy.
Because both of those groups, in my experience, are absolute shitboxes when it comes to any of the rules of social distancing and mask wearing.
Old people, it seems, grew up in an age where science hadn’t concluded the nose and mouth were linked by any sort of tube and that both are classed as airways. Old people mooch around with their noses hanging over the top of their masks, like a seedy pervert would walk around with their willy just poking over the top of their pants.
And kids are just kids and should be avoided anyway.
So if I have an early morning game where once I would leave at the dreaded pensioner time – that time in the morning when free bus travel kicks in and every pensioner in the fricking world has to all of a sudden go into town to have a conversation in Sainsbury’s doorway – I now leave before that (but after the other germ vectors have gone to school) and am at work at stupid o’clock in the morning.
Likewise the afternoon sees me leaving ridiculously early to avoid school letting out times.
But here’s the thing – what the fuck is happening with school letting out times. My bus goes past one and the little gits are out of school at half past two for goodness sake.
What’s that all about?
In my day you finished at 3.45 and were desperately trying to get home before Knightmare started. None of this knock of at 2.30 malarky – in fact, why do they even need to do that? There’s no CBBC or CITV shows to get home for. You’re not in danger of missing Woof or The Queen’s Nose anyway, regardless of what time you get out at.
It’s fricking ludicrous.
Anyway, luckily, none of them seem to get on the bus at that time. Which is nice. I can put away my sharpened stick on most of those journeys.
And then I have to wait at work until after the workforce has gone home so the buses are quieter so that I can reduce my exposure to people and, hopefully, germs.
For now, anyway…