I love backing things on Kickstarter and then not quite forgetting about them, but not really reading the blurb when emails come through. Unless it’s an email about a delay, and then I have read each and every one of those, but an email about something being sent out? Nah, I won’t read that.
And that way I am surprised by games arriving at the door. Yesterday, three little tins arrived with gaming magic within them. Two of them are, essentially, the same thing but different and one involves you competing to become the champion cat cuddler.
We’re got Tinderblox (two versions thereof) which involves making a small campfire with small wooden pieces, using a pair of small tweezers. And Kittin which involves stacking wooden cats in the correct configuration.
And both look like they’re going to be super fun. Nik also has them, and we’ve heard that his son rage-quit while playing. So that’s an endorsement.
But what do the two games have in common?
Ah yes, a great dextrous performance.
And what do I possess in whatever the opposite of “in spades” is? Oh, yeah, dexterity.
I do not have a steady hand. I do not possess the fine motor skills which will enable me to transfer, say, a log topped with a red fire block onto an evolving construction of a campfire. I don’t even think I have the manual dexterity to get the log topped with said fire block to the campfire without wanging it off into the distance (you’re allowed to rebuild if that happens).
Likewise, while I might possess the speed and observational skill to snatch the coloured cats I require to build my correctly orientated cat tower, I do not think that I have the steady hand of a master builder. There is not a hope in hell that, should my tower require a height above two cat shapes, it will be completed without me knocking it over and having to start again frustrated with all my life choices.
WHAT THE HECK HAVE I DONE ORDERING THESE GAMES?
The only way I’m going to stand any chance of not coming last in any of these tin-based fun-fests is if I, and this is purely a hypothetical and definitely not anything I would put into action, chose to play them at Christmas with Carole and my stroke-addled mother, taking full advantage of her lack of left-hand based vision. Not to mention the fact that her left hand (her dominant hand) is weaker than her right.
But even then, I’d still bloody lose wouldn’t I? And then I’d feel even worse about myself than I would if I beat a half-blind, weak-armed woman to the prize.
These games are the devil’s work.
Can’t wait to play them.