Nov 23, 2020: No Thank You

I don’t know quite what it is about the whole situation, but I don’t think I’d merrily give my personal details, bank details or whatever else to someone who comes a-knocking on the door. No matter how colourful their tabard might be.

That and, when they did come a-knocking I was in the middle of making a massive batch of Bolognese sauce and had no time for nonsense.

As I might have mentioned before, Carole has a habit of ordering stuff from Amazon and then neglecting to tell me it’s coming, or ordering stuff from places that aren’t Amazon and neglecting to tell me its coming. It’s not so much the ordering, it’s the neglecting.

And, as such, any knock at the door could be a delivery of some sort.

And when you’re in the kitchen, sometimes you don’t always hear the door. So when you do, you tend to fly out and race to the front door with nary a care.

That’s what I did. And it was a chugger. A charity mugger. Resplendent in his colourful tabard and face visor. Coming to hit me up for money and caring, in whichever order he fancied.

However – and he wouldn’t have got very far anyway – he said, “Hiya, fella!” in a way that made it sound like I was on a gameshow or something.

So I shut the door on him.

I’m ashamed I even opened it. Normally I glance out of the front room window. This time I went straight for the door, looking down at the doorstop where parcels tend to live in the new normal. Nope. Just a cheery chap at the end of the path, chucking out an exuberant pleasantry.

I saw him a bit later, moving as part of a mob of colourful chuggers across the top of the street. They didn’t seem to be having any better luck up there.

Does anyone actually give out their bank details to anyone on their doorstep? I’m very much of the opinion that we live in a very digital age. There’s everything you want online (apart from a decent way to talk to Sainsbury’s customer service). We don’t need people coming to the door for whatever reason. I have never thought to myself, “oh, I’m glad you’ve come to the door because otherwise I wouldn’t know about hedge trimming or windows or some religious twaddle – how would I have carried on without you.”

I can find a charity website online. I can donate in a way that is more secure. I can do all those things without a person at the door calling me “fella!”