Nov 28, 2020: Chrimble Chrumble

It’s going to be a curious Christmas this year, because of the Covid-ery. On the one hand, it’s going to be fun watching to see how people embrace the relaxation of the rules on those five days that infectious disease is on holiday, because even an illness needs some time to itself. You know, the people who equate “relaxation of the guidelines” with “everything’s safe, you can do what you want”. As opposed to, yes you can mingle with people but for fuck’s sake, do it sensibly.

So there’s that.

There’s also the fact that, this year, unlike any other, I’m not in town at all in the run up to Christmas. Even when I was “resting” between jobs, I went into town in the run up to Christmas – very briefly – to mooch in a few shops and pick up some little bits and bobs. This year, not doing that. Sod it. Can’t be arsed. With lockdown 2.0 finishing on Tuesday, December is going to be a shitshow for people shopping, and I hate that at the best of times.

So I’ve done mine online. Or am doing it online. Or whatever.

I’ve ordered a lot of stuff from Amazon. Some of it’s presents. Some of it is stuff that we need at home. I know, I shouldn’t be ordering from Amazon because it’s evil etc etc etc but I have and you can all hate me for it later. At the moment, I hate myself for it.

Not because of the evil.

But because it’s a clusterfuck.

Stuff is coming all over the shop and, because reasons, individually (at least judging by my emails and notifications). Alexa won’t stop bloody pinging with notifications that a “shipment” is coming. Which is great because she keeps it on the down-low for Christmas time, but I haven’t got a fucking clue about what’s coming and where things are. There’s some stuff that I need for house things – bannister brackets and cat litter stuff. Some of that has come. I think the brackets are in a box on their own. But one thing of the cat litter stuff (which came up in a “frequently ordered together” recommendation) has come with something else entirely.

Yes, all the cat litter stuff might be ordered together, but it arrives as though it has been fired for a giant shotgun atop Amazon HQ.

And stuff’s come today that wasn’t coming until Monday when I ordered it.

It’s chaos. Chaos, I tell you.

I don’t like it.

And I can’t sort any of it while Carole’s about.

And I can’t work out where to put it given that we’re also decorating upstairs so stripping things out and moving things about. I can’t put stuff under the bed or in drawers because things are moving at frequent intervals (thanks, in part, to our lovely (possibly unnecessarily) wallpapered ceiling which is sometimes a doddle and other times an absolute twat to strip and you have to come at it from all sorts of angles.


But still… it’s also going to be an interesting Christmas because I don’t have to think about work in and amongst it as well… the joys of a tier 3 regional restriction.

Which is another reason why I’m avoiding the shops – people who should be at work who suddenly find themselves with time to visit shops are the absolute worst.