Dec 1, 2020: Fartnite

It’s bloody December already, when did that happen? Must have been during all this sitting around at home that’s been going on.

But anyway, I digress.

Part of my duties as a funcle, is to play video games with my niece – I’ve mentioned it before. We play all the fun stuff like Roblox (I don’t really understand or get the concept of this one at all, it’s awful) and Fortnite (I understand it, and I hate myself for enjoying the flashing lights and level progression but can see how it is cunningly designed (even more so from tomorrow) to encourage you to fork over cash for what is essentially just some new clothes for your character. My character, the one that I choose to play, is generic space person from waaaaay back at the start of Fortnite. I might have won it, I can’t remember. I know money did not change hands. I have no dances other than whatever I got when I first played. Nothing. I am the least cool person playing that game (on a number of levels).

Anyway, tonight was the end of a season of Fortnite or something or other. An event happened. For a while now Fortnite has been drafting in characters from more popular things like Star Wars, DC and Marvel comics. All to encourage the forking over of money to have a character that looks like something that people would recognise. Tonight it was the end of a Marvel thing, with Galactus coming to gobble up the world of Fortnite which has some kind of deep lore now and isn’t just a cash cow spun off a game that was supposed to be free-to-play years ago but seems to have been forgotten in favour of this bells-and-whistles money spinner.

I didn’t log on in time to get into the event. Or, I should say, I forgot there was even an event entirely, saw Moo was online playing, tried to join her but couldn’t because I had to read Carole’s essay for Uni and then when I’d done that I wasn’t in time to play because they’d shut down the access because reasons. So I watched it on Twitch.

Moo waited over half an hour for the event to start, in game. I was playing Halo with a Twitch stream on in the background. I don’t know who it was, he had a beard. That’s all I know.

The event eventually started, and then it was over not long after that.

Summed up, I think, beautifully by Moo who just said “Oh, I waited over half an hour for that??”

It was terrible. There’s so much hype around this stuff and then there’s something that lasts about fifteen minutes in total and then the game’s offline for eight hours because new things are happening and people are eager to be the first into the new world on offer. I’ll jump into it tomorrow for a nosey but I’m willing to be that a) not a lot has changed b) I still don’t understand and c) there’s a new way to suck money out of people (there is, to be fair, because they’re adding a monthly subscription offer to the game where you pay way over the odds for stuff but it’s marketed like a good deal – you pay 30 quid for a three month battlepass vs the £10 it would be on it’s on, but you get some in game currency and some new cosmetic horseshit as well. People will lap it up).

I enjoy that I play games with Moo, I really do. And she is really good at Fortnite, although she’s a terrible teammate as she often gets us into trouble and/or doesn’t save her funcle from death. But I do wish I could get her to play other stuff that would hold her interest just as much – a bit of Sea of Thieves, a bit of We Were Here (and the various sequels). All that shizz.

But no.

I’m just levelling up with fancy graphics and anti-climactic features.