Dec 3, 2020: Lords Of Timer Creep

Games night tonight was a bit of an impromptu affair.

We knew there was going to be one, but nothing had been decided as to what we were going to play. We had floated the idea of Wingspan and it’s new Australian birds expansion (because I wanted to find the card about the bin chicken, more than anything), but that was poo-pooed. Then we thought about Off The Rails, but no-one could really muster up the enthusiasm for it.

So we ended up on Lords of Waterdeep. A game we have not played for many a moon, but one which we all enjoy but – apparently – have trouble remembering how to play.

Not me. I knew precisely what needed to be done. I just did it very, very poorly.

Nik, however, couldn’t remember what he was doing, forgot about his Lord card and its associated end of game points bonus and, best of all, neglected the turn timer.

The turn timer is on there, I think, for when people are playing online games but aren’t necessarily playing with too much care and attention. It’s there to stop people from taking too long to make moves and basically putting a kibosh on the whole game. It can time people out and, I assume, kick them from the game thus, in some way, putting a different kibosh on the whole thing. Either which way, it exists.

When we used to play, I’d set the turn timer for four hours, and it would tick down – like the clock in chess – to ensure that moves didn’t take forever.

Today, though, I forgot. And we had it on the standard thirty minutes.

Which no-one really realised, but didn’t have much to worry about because they were all swift with their moves. With the exception of Nik, who took this one games night as an opportunity to regale us with tales of showbiz debauchery. And a lot of them at that. Every time it was his turn he’d tell us about some light entertainment act from the 80s and what they got up to and things of this nature. It was like an episode of Would I Lie To You, in a way. Which, coincidentally, also has a thirty minute run time.

We all finished the game with minutes close to ten remaining. Nik’s timer wouldn’t have been out of place in a movie in which a bomb was being defused. He threw away most of his time telling us about people having sex with other people, and how he was chatted up by one particular game show host at a party while in a ball pool.

It was definitely one of the more interesting nights of game play that’s for sure. Almost don’t care that I came third. I came third, by the way. I thought I’d won. Then Carole beat me by two points. And I was sad. And then Daniel beat me by one point and I was fricking livid.

Nik lost, but he had fun doing it.

It was like sitting at the feet of an elderly relative begging them to tell us another story… but it kept him distracted from the game play and that’s the main thing.