Dec 6, 2020: Tree Wishes

She’s had a little go at the Christmas tree. She’s tried her best to get in it.

But, so far, it looks like we have defeated her. Mwah ha ha and laughs of that nature.

There’s a definite patch in the tree when she stood, front paws on the branches and back paws firmly planted on the carpet and spent a good five minutes testing the fences, as it were. She’s bounced her weight on the end of the branches and taken her frustrations out on some tinsel.

But as yet, the tree remains unviolated.

It only needs to remain more-or-less in tact for another three weeks or so. Hopefully we can make it.

There should be an advent calendar for that.

Bugger counting down until Christmas Day. Let’s have something with enough doors in to cover most people’s run up to Christmas with a cat threatening to trash all their stuff. Behind each door there’s a cat treat and a miniature bottle of booze. If the tree remains untrashed, you unleash the cat treat. If it’s bitten the dust and all your hard work and time you put into trimming it up so it looked lovely has fallen by the wayside because of the furry little buggers, then you down the booze and bin the cat treat.

You save up the winning days booze until after Christmas when you no longer care what your tree looks like, get really pissed on it all and then trash the tree yourself while your cat looks at you like you’ve lost the plot and are unnecessarily vandalistic.

It’s a win-win.

Peppa also started using the presents gathered beneath the tree as a step up to where she wanted to be. So now, we can’t keep things under the tree in any way which provides an advantage. No more artfully arranged piles. Just a flat sea of gifts offering no height advantage to a cat desperate to climb.

In fact everything that gets put down has to be assessed and moved if necessary. Yesterday we were cracking on with the jigsaw – the end is in sight, albeit past a sea of white snow and green tree pieces – and I tend to sit on the footrest to do the jigsaw so we can attack from two sides of the table. That’s been removed from the room now, and only comes in for jigsaw times, as it provides a platform for climbing.

Even the shredder is on the watch list. Although we think that might be too precarious.

We’re waiting for her to jump on top of the radiator and walk along. Hopefully she won’t do that.

But then, she’s a crafty little so-and-so, who can say. She might just do a kamikaze leap from the edge of the gaming table and hope for the best…