Dec 22, 2020: Not So De-light-ful

We went on a second tour of Christmas lights tonight.

And it was disappointing.

We stayed clear of the obvious places filled with tat – there’s an estate very close to us that has some hideous stuff in, but that’s just people who you would expect to have huge amounts of tat on display. My sport comes in finding people who would, if you asked them, consider themselves well-to-do, but have exceptionally bad taste when it comes to lighting. Or just don’t know when to stop. Any of that is welcome as far as I’m concerned.

We’ve had some very, very good results in the past.

But this year it was lacking.

Nothing screamed tacky. Nothing screamed not knowing when to stop. It was a sad affair, all in all. There were a few, sure, who had just thrown lights at all the bushes in their gardens. But there were very few with the fronts of the houses adorned with every colour of bulb.

There were, though, a good percentage of those projector things, which I happen to think are the worst Christmas decorations ever so I am always drawn to houses with them. But they are so plentiful these days, that they’re sort of becoming the norm. Life was better when you’d see the odd projector and wonder what they were thinking. Now it’s as if everyone things it’s a good idea.

And it’s not.

It’s a terrible idea.

Having a three or four frame animated gif, essentially, of a jolly snowman beamed onto your wall isn’t decorating your house.

Have some pride people.

And then, at the same time, don’t have any pride and just go to town with as much crap as possible. Preferably in colours that aren’t white, because that looks too classy. That warm yellow’s awful, stick with that. Or the blue. Cover your houses without enough blue light that a passing junkie would be unable to find a vein until he moved on to another house.

Honestly, I think the Christmas spirit was removed from me on our drive.

It was a pitiful show.

I’m not sure if we’ll be going out again.

There’s still that pensioner’s paradise to pick at though. They wouldn’t let us down, surely.