Dec 26, 2020: Well-Lit-tle Old Lady

Christmas Day was incredibly unstressy – if you circumnavigate the part where Carole’s parental units were both ill and one of them was diagnosed with the Covids, at least.

That was, in part, due to the fact that I’d cooked half of the bits of the Christmas Dinner the day before in a crafty bit of forward planning. Doing that took a decent chunk of time off the cooking and everything else was a doddle that even as I heaped a ridiculous amount of food onto a plate, I thought I simply must have forgotten something.

But no.

Everything was as it should be.

We’d bubbled mum over here, as she is in our bubble anyway, to save her from my aunt’s Christmas Dinner. My aunt was convinced that we were having curry for Christmas lunch and was willing to take my mum away from all that and give her a proper meal instead, all this despite curry not being mentioned ever in relation to Christmas in any of their conversations.

One of the best bits of having mum stay here is her torch use.

She sleeps in the spare bed in what is effectively Carole’s office. It is next to the bathroom. Whenever mum gets up for an old lady wee in the night, she puts on her torch and comes out to go to the loo. For some reason, her exiting the bedroom involves sweeping the torch around as though she’s a security guard doing their rounds in a factory. There is not a part of the landing, or our bedroom, which goes untouched by photons. Going back in, post wee, nothing. Barely a glimmer. But when she comes out, she really likes to make sure that any passing ships are warned away from the rocks.

It’s hilarious. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But I do regret buying her that torch last year. I didn’t realise it had such a high candle value. It’s like daylight.

And when old lady wees happen with alarming regularity… you spend half the night waking up because you think it’s late morning and you’ve massively overslept. Only to hear the loo flush and the mumbling shuffle of a well-lit pensioner.

And now we’ve bought her little lights she can attach to her shoes as well.

Yeah…