Mere days after slagging off the weather’s inability to provide snow where we live, lo and behold we have snow. It has snowed for most of the day, although in the afternoon it was kind of just going through the motions. This morning was where it was all at.
And, in our tiny backwater street, off the beaten track, chaos ensued.
The weird lady who has a lot of cats and a house which is filthy and supported by scaffolding beams went out. Then she came back. Whether she went out before the snow or not, I don’t know. Some people did. Others did not. Others chose to go out while it was snowing and the roads were a mess and cars were being abandoned left, right and centre. She came back, anyway, under the full weight of the snow. Most of her windows were snow-covered, so she was in effect driving a seasonal tank.
Because that’s the sort of woman she is.
Anyway, she drove past our house and up and round to her house. Our street is a loop, with a slight uphill element to it – we live on the bottom side, while the higher-ups are higher up. She lives in the top corner. With all the cats and the craziness.
So she drove past to get to her house. She drove past her own house as she favours reversing into her parking spot which is less of a spot and more of just the entire corner. She couldn’t reverse. Wheelspin. Disaster.
So, rather than just park up where she was, she went to drive round the street again and take a second go.
She couldn’t get back up. Which saw her sliding around the bottom corner close to our house – but sadly not close enough to put our car in any sort of mortal danger, annoyingly – until a variety of people went out to shovel her a route up the road.
Even I considered going out to help.
I know, right.
I didn’t rush to it, admittedly. Because there were already three people at it and too many cooks can spoil the broth, but as it continued on I did throw on some boots and run through a mental inventory of shovels and the like that we have to aid in the digging process. As it never really snows, we do not have snow-shovels. Why the frick would we. But we do have a normal shovel.
I was ready to go and get that. I looked out of the window again to see where I was headed (via the back garden for tools) and she was just parking up and the side of the road and walking to her house.
Further away, I should point out, than if she’s just parked where she was when her wheels were spinning in a failed reverse motion.
But yes, I got myself in a position to go and help dig her to the top of the road because, sometimes, even I am not a complete arsehole.
And then Carole came downstairs, fresh from several fun meetings with work, and told me off for ruining the snow in the back garden when I went out for the shovel.
Sometimes it’s just better to be an arsehole all the time…