Jan 26, 2021: Bye Norman

We’re getting the new car tomorrow.

Everyone – which is to say, the pair of us – is on tenterhooks about the whole thing. We’re going from poor old Norman to a beast of a car.

Today was the day we gave Norman a once over and cleared out all his door pockets, seat pockets and underseat nooks and crannies. Because there’s bound to be some socks, or a gazillion tissues tucked away somewhere.

As it happens, though, there was not much left in him. Just a few bits and bobs that were left in there because it felt like they should have been, in case he’d been used since the major emptying of last week.

And then that was it. An empty shell of a car, resplendent in his shiny blue muckiness.

It’s sad to see him go.

If for no other reason that literally no-one else in the universe drove a Modus. If we ever saw one out and about it was a special moment we all shared, as they were so few and far between. And when we did see them they were usually horrible colours that no-one in their right minds would consider driving. But it was still special. Oh look, we’d say, another Modus – you don’t see many of those about.

And you didn’t.

And that was what made it a great (sort of) car.

I could tell, without too much faff, if Carole was coming for me. When she’d pick me up from work (remember that? Who knows when that’ll happen again) I could recognise the car in daylight and at night, purely by the shape.

Now we’re going to something that – frankly – I cannot pick out of any of a range of cars of a similar size and shape.

I’m never going to know when I’m about to be picked up. I’m going to have to learn the number plate or something.

Or, you know, wait until the car pulls to a stop close to me. But either way, it’s not going to be the same – I could wait under shelter if it was raining and because I could identify the car from a way off I could be in position to get straight in when she got to me. No more of that.

I’m not going to able to find it in a car park. Although maybe I am, because it’s a lot newer and shiner than Norman we’ll probably opt to park it as far away from anyone and anything else as possible. So by the token it’ll be quite easy to find.

I’m not going to lie, though, I am looking forward to going to the tip in it, and having loads of stuff in the back, instead of a couple of buckets of stuff and whatever else we could cram in to the woefully small boot space (even smaller when we buggered the spare wheel holder and had to keep the spare wheel loose in the boot too…).

Ah, I am going to miss Norman.

But I’m also not going to miss Norman.

It’s a weird one.