Jan 27, 2021: New Car Smell

Last time we got a new car, our old car failed to start on the morning of the exchange and ended up wiping several hundred pounds off the trade-in value.

This time, he started and everything but holy shit there were some funny noises coming from him. Like he knew it was the end. I have never heard so much squeaking from the back of the car, or such strange engine noises.

It’s possible, I guess, that as we’d emptied him out, everything was just rattling and that it had always been making these noises but was muffled by all the crap that was in there. You should never underestimate the muffling power of printed copies of the lyrics for all the songs from The Greatest Showman.

I have no idea why they were there. I didn’t ask. I just binned them.

Anyway, he made it to be traded in. To be honest, his trade-in value wasn’t making a huge dent in the asking price of the new car. I have games consoles that cost multiple times the price we were getting for him, so if he’d died on the way there it wouldn’t have been the end of the world.

Apart from the huge amount of faff to have him towed and scrapped or whatever.

But now we have The Beast, as Carole keeps calling him.

Everything’s different. And high tech. And a little scary, if I’m honest. There’s a lot to it. I’ve looked through the instruction manual and I’m baffled by half of what I’ve read. And what I’ve read is probably not even stuff that’s in our particular model, such is the generic form of the instruction book, but there’s a lot going on.

It’s definitely a learning curve.

Norman was just point him in the right direction and go. This one has all sorts of bells and whistles.

But it’s exciting.

Even more so, it has to be said, when you go for the first – jerky – drive in it and the passenger air bag isn’t turned on. Fear heightens the senses though, or something. Livens the experience. It’s got some oomph to it as well – which Norman definitely didn’t have – so we (and I say that as a non-driver) need to be careful that we don’t get too carried away with the same level of pedal to the floor driving that Norman needed to even get to the end of the road.

Especially as we’re back to speedometer dial and Norman had a numerical display.

And it seems to be very easy to get to 40mph…

Very easy.

If definitely goes some.

We’re going to take it for a drive every day, I think, to get used to it.

It’s only a matter of time before we end up on a motorway I think…

And then Carole’s no longer allowed to drive because of all the speeding tickets she’s racked up because it’s definitely not like Norman in any way, shape or form.

Exciting times.