Mar 26, 2021: The Interloper Revealed

Like the end of a story arc in a long-running show, the evil doer has finally been revealed, and their identity came as somewhat of a shock. Not a huge shock. Kind of a “oh yeah, I could see that being the case” kind of shock.

Basically, I know the identity of the cat that came into the house, ate all Peppa’s food and pissed on Carole’s bag that one time.

So that’s a lockdown mystery solved.

I was just minding my own business this evening, sitting on the couch, using the computer for things that I didn’t intend to use the computer for. By which I mean, a rabbit hole of videos of ghosts and shit. Or shit ghosts. And the clip of a Stargate episode where they’re all puppets.

I intended to do a number of things which primarily did not involve YouTube but I am easily distracted and initially only went on there for the Suicide Squad trailer.

Anyway. I was sitting here minding my own business and the cat flap made cat flap noises. I looked across, because the couch is now in full view of the cat flap, expecting to see the white paw of a certain Peppa T. Cat coming in.

But it wasn’t.

It was a different paw. I didn’t quite catch the colour before it disappeared from sight.

But then it came back. And it was ginger. And it flailed around for a bit before it flipped the flap up to allow entry for a head. A ginger head. We were being raided. And I was right there watching.

This is the first time I have managed to get a look at the interloper. All the other times, it has run away at any kind of movement from me, but I was in a semi-vegetative YouTube state, so my motions were limited. Aside from scoffing laughter at the videos before me. Honestly, a phone can have a gazillion mega-pixel camera on it and be the absolute best thing ever, but you point it at something unexplained and the picture quality goes to absolute shite. Funny that.


Ginger cat head appears in the cat flap. And slowly angles to see me.

It stops.

It stares. Wide-eyed.

I say, “Hello!”

It retreats backwards at great speed.

It has not, as yet, returned.

I am saddened by this. Because the rules state if it’s in the house and we see it, it’s ours. That’s how cats work. Everyone knows that. Apart from that time one just strolled through the house and both of us were like “what the fuck?” because we have no idea where it came from. But that was a one time thing and we were off our game then. Any other time, the cat is ours.

I’m going to leave the cat flap uncovered for a while tomorrow night and see if it comes back again to try again.

I might try and trap it with an upturned box balanced on a stick…