Mar 30, 2021: Full Batman

Suddenly, the silly old fucker who hit the car at the weekend wants to share his details with us.

It’s almost as if a call from the police, and a letter from his insurance company saying they think he might have been inolved in an accident is some sort of call to action.

Especially as, by all accounts, it was an ex-partner who arranged his insurance. And she’s not happy.

And neither is his son, who has been in touch because he just wants everything to be sorted out.

Meanwhile, Carole is still calling for blood.

And rightly so.

Because if this guy is incapable of getting a small car into such a large gap, then he probably shouldn’t be on the road at all. And we’ve since found out he’s been banned for drink-driving.

So that’s fricking super isn’t it?

Carole’s current sticking point – and everything to do with the car is now sorted pretty much, they’re coming to assess the damage later in the week – is that the police phoned her and left a message saying that he’s really upset and sorry for what he’s done and that’s all, thanks bye.

She’s not happy about that.

Honestly, if she had a more tragic backstory I think she’d be going full Batman on this guy. She’s got straight back onto the police – who have so far not managed to speak with her – because she wants everything thrown at this guy. He drove off form here without any intention of ever admitting this shit. He’s only coming clean now because he was caught by our neighbour out and about after the accident. If she hadn’t seen him do it, we’d be none the wiser other than the fact that someone scuffed the car. That’s all we’d have.

It couldn’t be any clearer that he’s not sorry about this in the slightest. He’s just going through all the motions because he’s been caught out and we had all his details to give to both the insurance people and the police and it’s all come down on him.

Carole is not willing to take just an apology. And certainly not just an apology that’s both forced and via a number of third-party sources.

She will not rest…

I, meanwhile, will be checking any of her Amazon deliveries over the next few days to make sure there’s no military-grade Kevlar body suits in there…