Apr 3, 2021: It’s Like Easter But Viewed From A Distance

I ordered a couple of Easter eggs with our shop this week. We did have some – Carole bought them earlier in the week, and we swore they would last until the weekend.

They did not last.

So I thought I’d order some new ones.

Which I did. And when I ordered them, I remembered Carole saying that when she bought the ones we were absolutely going to keep until the weekend but that we absolutely ate within minutes that there were not many to be had in the shop. So my hope was not held out.

And, lo, so it came to pass.

Our Easter eggs were downsized.

We ended up with a chocolate egg each that was best described as a mini egg trying hard to be something better. A Malteser egg, with a Malteaster bunny in it.

But even the bunny was minute.

Everything was tiny.

The delivery guy asked me if everything was okay with my shopping, as I unloaded it from their baskets into my (appropriated laundry) basket.

No! No it isn’t. How can it be acceptable to have smaller Easter eggs delivered. How is less chocolate a viable substitute for chocolate? This is like when I ordered a large jar of Nutella and got a very small one. And yet if I order something else and they don’t have it, I get as many substitutes as it takes to make up that amount of stuff. Who can forget the gazillion small blocks of cheese we got in place of two larger blocks.

And yet with chocolate that rule does not seem to apply.

With chocolate you can do without. Have a smaller amount and a really fucking disappointingly small chocolate rabbit making you question the amount of effort that even went in to making the mould for it being worth it in the first place.

The tiniest fricking eggs they could find.

No. Everything’s not bloody alright with the shop.

I just said, “Yes. It’s fine, thanks.”