Mar 29, 2021: Napping

I might have had a side-effect of the jab after all. Huzzah.

After hearing everyone banging on about how bad they’d felt the day after the jab, and how my mum had suffered with aching joints and shivering on the night she got the vaccination, I had braced myself for the worst.

And I was disappointed when nothing happened.

I know that sounds like a weird thing to say, because who wants side effects from things anyway, but I was fully expecting them. And they would help me, to some extent, make an informed decision as to what I do with regards to work when I have the second shot. Because, again anecdotally, sometimes the second shot is worse than the first in terms of the side effect and sometimes it’s fine. So it’d be nice to have a clue what I’d be doing.

Because scaring the bejesus out of people in an escape room is much better done when you don’t feel like shit. I can deal with an aching arm, but headache and flu-like symptoms do not a scary encounter make.

So I was hoping for some sort of benchmark.

And I got nothing.

Well, not quite nothing.

I slept.

I napped on and off throughout the day.

Which is a side effect. Feeling tired. It’s there, on the leaflet.

But then, equally, I can pretty much guarantee that if I lie down on the couch I will fall asleep. And then when you’re already in a comfortable sleeping position – or as comfy as you can be on the couch – you tend to want to stay there, and you’ll nod in and out of consciousness as the time passes. Waking up, for example, everytime someone comes downstairs because you have to maintain the air of someone who definitely wasn’t asleep. Which is even more futile when you consider how loudly I snore. There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind what I was doing.

So I don’t know if I was actually tired because of the jab. Or just tired in general and just opting for lying down over ploughing caffeine products into my body which normally keeps the naps at bay.

It’s like with anything – when you start looking for things, you notice things and then you’re going to tie them into something that’s happened.

So I might have had a side effect. Which is exciting. It’s just the most boring of all of them.

Which is typical.

Mar 28, 2021: Prick Gets Prick

Jabbing day.

Thanks to having a pre-existing medical condition – which, to be fair, I don’t know what it could be but assume it’s something to do with mental health – I am allowed the Covid jab a little bit earlier than I should be having it. Not a lot earlier, but maybe a week or two. It doesn’t really matter though, in the greater scheme of things because my contact with others is still incredibly limited. And, where possible, will remain that way post-June anyway!

What I like about having my jab is that the option to book the appointment came maybe a day or so after all the blood clot malarky started kicking off. You know, the optimal best time to have the jab and undoubtedly have the one that’s the root of all evil, according to the news, is directly after you start hearing reports of all that jazz.

But I booked it anyway. And then I did my homework like a diligent person would do. I read the side effects. I read about the blood clots. And the ridiculously low percentages involved in that. And so I stopped worrying. Not that I was particularly worried in the first place – I’m certainly not one for believing that there’s a tracking device buried away in there or that it’s actually to reprogram my DNA for reasons as yet unspecified but it’s definitely for that. Mainly because I’m not a loon. And also, if there is a tracking device, I hope whoever’s watching my movements has a comfy chair and book to read because they’re in for a dull existence.

My vaccination centre was at Huddersfield Town’s stadium. And as I queued up, I could just feel the sporting greatness wafting off the place. I’ve never been to the stadium before for anything – not the sporting end, anyway. And I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the whole thing. And, really, nothing screams hygiene and low chance of infection than concrete walls and peeling paint.

But other than that it was a quick and easy deal.

There’s questions, there’s a needle, then you can go home.

That was it. The booking thing says you might need to wait for 15 minutes in case of any allergic reactions – that didn’t seem to be a thing at all. Unless that’s only if you say you are allergic to anything and then they watch you like a hawk, otherwise you’re packed off for freedom when the needle is barely out of your arm. The walk out of the vaccination centre is so bloody long, though, essentially all the way round the fricking football ground, that if you were to have an allergic reaction you’d have swollen up to twice your normal size before you reach the exit gate.

So now I’ve got tomorrow to look forward to – a day which, judging by anecdotal evidence from relatives and friends, might be a bit shitty as variety of side-effects sweep through my system. So far, the most exciting thing that’s happened is that my arm aches a bit, as though it’s had a needle jabbed in it, and I was a teensy bit shivery even though the thermostat says its warm.

I’m going to be so annoyed if nary a side effect comes to visit.

Mar 27, 2021: Aye, Car-umba

Today was a pretty good day.

We got up, Carole went out for plants and stuff, I got the shopping in. She studied. I played. We went to see my mum so she could see me before I go to have that worrisome vaccine injected into my arm tomorrow.

All of these were good.

And then we came home. Parked the car outside the house. Came inside. Went about out day.

And someone just drove into the car. Again, the parked car, at the side of the road. He was, by all accounts, trying to park in the fucking huge space in front of our car – around two car lengths I would have estimated it to be – and somehow didn’t even manage to get past our car before he turned in.

Our lovely new car.

Oh, and then he drove off as soon as he’d done it.

So that was fun.

He was witnessed by a neighbour who, sadly, didn’t get his license plate or anything. And woe became us. Because it was going to have to go through the insurance and with no other party to point the finger at it would be quite a sad time for us.

However… our neighbour – the same one who witnessed the incident – went out. She was going out anyway, when she saw the amazing driving I should point out, and she just happened to pull up behind the offending vehicle at some traffic lights. Where she took a picture of his car.

She then pulled up along side him, jumped out and took more pictures – of the driver, the license, the damage to his car – and challenged him on what he’d done. Which, like a complete and utter spineless bellend, he completely denied. And then wound his windows up and locked his door.

We’ve reported him to the police. I mean, we need to anyway for the insurance thing, but also because if he’s failing that badly at getting into a space to park then he possibly shouldn’t be driving. The fact that our neighbour caught up with him and she left the street a good ten minutes after him would also imply there was quite a high level of very slow driving involved. So he was probably pissed as well. But that’s just entirely allegedly, of course.

And he’s known to our immediate neighbour – he got out of his car post scrape and went to her house but she wasn’t in – and she’s confirmed she knows him. And given us all his details. So we could, if we wanted, drive to his house and shit on his bonnet.

Funnily enough, he drove into the back of the last car we had several years ago as he failed to leave the space he’d parked in with a motorbike he was on. Although we didn’t realise that until long after he’d gone. We just heard a crash and thought it was him toppling his motorbike over, which we helped him to pick up, rather annoyingly.

We’ve only had our nice shiny newest of the new we’ve ever had car for a mere two months. Two months.

And it was parked outside.


We wouldn’t even be so pissed off if he’d stopped and apologised, or if we’d have scraped in moving traffic. But when we’re parked and nowhere near it.


Mar 26, 2021: The Interloper Revealed

Like the end of a story arc in a long-running show, the evil doer has finally been revealed, and their identity came as somewhat of a shock. Not a huge shock. Kind of a “oh yeah, I could see that being the case” kind of shock.

Basically, I know the identity of the cat that came into the house, ate all Peppa’s food and pissed on Carole’s bag that one time.

So that’s a lockdown mystery solved.

I was just minding my own business this evening, sitting on the couch, using the computer for things that I didn’t intend to use the computer for. By which I mean, a rabbit hole of videos of ghosts and shit. Or shit ghosts. And the clip of a Stargate episode where they’re all puppets.

I intended to do a number of things which primarily did not involve YouTube but I am easily distracted and initially only went on there for the Suicide Squad trailer.

Anyway. I was sitting here minding my own business and the cat flap made cat flap noises. I looked across, because the couch is now in full view of the cat flap, expecting to see the white paw of a certain Peppa T. Cat coming in.

But it wasn’t.

It was a different paw. I didn’t quite catch the colour before it disappeared from sight.

But then it came back. And it was ginger. And it flailed around for a bit before it flipped the flap up to allow entry for a head. A ginger head. We were being raided. And I was right there watching.

This is the first time I have managed to get a look at the interloper. All the other times, it has run away at any kind of movement from me, but I was in a semi-vegetative YouTube state, so my motions were limited. Aside from scoffing laughter at the videos before me. Honestly, a phone can have a gazillion mega-pixel camera on it and be the absolute best thing ever, but you point it at something unexplained and the picture quality goes to absolute shite. Funny that.


Ginger cat head appears in the cat flap. And slowly angles to see me.

It stops.

It stares. Wide-eyed.

I say, “Hello!”

It retreats backwards at great speed.

It has not, as yet, returned.

I am saddened by this. Because the rules state if it’s in the house and we see it, it’s ours. That’s how cats work. Everyone knows that. Apart from that time one just strolled through the house and both of us were like “what the fuck?” because we have no idea where it came from. But that was a one time thing and we were off our game then. Any other time, the cat is ours.

I’m going to leave the cat flap uncovered for a while tomorrow night and see if it comes back again to try again.

I might try and trap it with an upturned box balanced on a stick…

Mar 25, 2021: Gods Really Love Dinosaurs

We got the band back together for games night this week. By which I mean, Daniel had stopped his whistle-stop tour of all the wonders Vienna had to offer and remembered that he was the one that usually pestered us to play all the time.

We had another crack at Gods Love Dinosaurs – Carole, Nik and myself now being the seasoned pros after our one run through last week, and Daniel not having played it before but having watched a video about it with a “cute guy” in it. So everyone was up to speed.

And I had strategies to try out after last week’s games.

I was determined to win. I was keen. I was ready. I was poised.

I was second.

Because what happened, amongst other things, is that I forgot my strategies. My carefully honed plans for world domination, plans I had crafted for this game – fool proof plans which would accommodate any eventuality. I forgot them all.

I think, in part, because I went into a panic mode early on as I didn’t get my hands on any predator tiles in the first run through and was on the back foot when it came to the dino chowing down on that sweet, sweet food. Because I didn’t have any predators, I laid no eggs. And no eggs equals no points. And that was right at the start, when there’s a whole game ahead of me and everything to play for but for some reason, in my mind, it was all over. I panicked. I threw my planned plans away. And winged it.

To second.

Here’s what I know to be true – you don’t, in a bid to catch up with the players in the lead, eat all your predators in one go. Leave one of each on the board. That way, you can make more when the time is right… even if – entirely hypothetically of course – all the other buggers you’re playing with have taken all the other predator tiles. Hypothetically, of course.

What I did, was eat everything.

Screwed myself over six ways from Sunday and really struggled to get everything back in order to scrape a lowly second place.

At one point, towards the end of the game, I convinced myself I was going to win. I genuinely thought that I’d managed to claw it back following a healthy predator round at the last possible opportunity.

I was rolling in them eggs, as the cool kids say.

And then Nik had more.

But we all beat Daniel. And that’s the main thing.

And we can never play it again because there’s every chance he’s got his eye in now and will destroy us all.