“I’m Not A Gamer…”

Originally Published: 21 January 2008

Words spoken by my girlfriend.

And how true they once were… when we started dating I told her I was waiting for a Wii. Apart from the funny looks she gave me, she also proceded to explain that she could have got a new washing machine for the money I was spending. Bet she wouldn’t have had as much fun though…

Spin on a couple of months, and the Wii is firmly placed in my bedroom. My girlfriend comes round for a Sunday afternoon, and we have a few games of Wii bowling. I whup her ass for a while, and then my own father comes along and teaches Carole the ways of bowling. Not Wii bowling, but proper bowling. Which pin to aim for, what sort of spin to put on the ball – all the technical stuff really. Somewhere in all that, a gaming demon awoke in someone who had, before, looked at me like I was some kind of crazy loon for wanting to wave my arms around in front of a TV. Needless to say, she went on to hammer me good and proper over several games. I had to feed her Mii to some crocodiles in WarioWare to take her down a peg or two.

So, more time passed, and we moved in together. The Wii lives downstairs, and the 360 upstairs in the “gaming/crafting” room (most normal households would call this “the spare room”). We’ve played on the 360 together, which is fun but you really don’t want a jumpy woman as your wingman while playing Ghost Recon. Trees have been shot soooo many times on that game, you can probably pick them up with a metal detector. We’re thinking about getting Scene It, for the simple reason that it doesn’t involve shooting and I’m fairly sure that you could find the big button without having to look at the control pad first.

Then came another trouncing. I rented Rockstar’s Table Tennis for the Wii.

Now, this is a game that I am reasonably good at on the 360. I’m not brilliant, I’m not [insert expert real-life table tennis player’s name] but I’m ok. When it comes to the game on the Wii, though, I suck big time. I played a match against Carole and was beaten by a long way. That was bad enough in itself. It then got worse as she hatched cunning ways for various friends to ask me what games were good for the Wii, and somehow always managed to turn the conversation round to Table Tennis and how easy it was for novices.

She might not be a gamer, but she’s a crafty so-and-so!!